Before giving birth, most mothers have an idealized view of what motherhood will be like. They envision quiet evenings snuggling close to them the lives that they have created. Or they might envision watching the proud dad bounce the baby on his knee while both proud parents laugh together. Adorable clothing will look great on the baby, friends and family will be supportive, and all will be well in the world of motherhood. Of course this is all a very naive way to view motherhood but it’s something that many new mothers do and there’s nothing inherently selfish or unhealthy about it.
The trouble comes in after the baby is born and all of these idealized visions of motherhood come crashing down in a fit of loud crying, dirty diapers, and fathers that must work most of the time. Juggling work and motherhood can be another difficult fact of life for some mothers who must also work to make sure that a financial crisis doesn’t come about because of the birth of the little one. Financial troubles are another thing that can quickly dampen the fairytale like hopes for motherhood.
So how does a new mother come to terms with the reality over the fantasy and still have enough hope left over to realize that she’s still done something amazing by bringing another life into the world? There’s plenty new mothers can do to grow into the loving occupation that is raising a child. Make no mistake, it’s never going to be a bed of roses but with a little determination and a shift in attitude to accept the reality of motherhood, mothers can quickly learn to love their job.
New Motherhood Attitudes
1. Stop expecting motherhood to be all about you! After all, you’re raising an entirely new life here from scratch and that little one is as much a part of your motherhood as you are. You’re going to have to concede a few things in this partnership, the first being that your baby’s needs aren’t always going to be pleasant for you. But they will ALWAYS be pleasant for your baby. When you’re tired in the middle of the night, feeding that baby, just remember there are two of you there, and that baby is loving every bit of interaction you’re getting together. In fact, the baby’s life depends on what you’re doing. Learn to look down at your little one and instead of wishing it would finish eating and go to sleep, lovingly think of how these moments are never going to occur again and that your child is benefiting every minute of this uncomfortable moment for you.
2. Taking care of a new baby can seem like all work but sometimes you need to mix things up a bit and make sure that the baby, from a very early age, gets some form of play. You need that kind of play, too. Don’t be afraid to laugh even before your baby can hear or make funny faces even before it can see. Why? Because those are YOUR memories! And every moment that work time feels like play time gives you all that much more to love about motherhood.
3. Learn to ask for help. If you’re going to learn to love being a mother, you need all the help you can get. There won’t always be someone around to help but make sure that you have a small army of supportive people who can give you a slight breather here and there. If you and dad both work, encourage him to share equal responsibilities or at least many responsibilities. While some mothers have a hard time passing their child to someone else for help, it’s absolutely essential to your well-being. You can love your motherhood era a lot more when you have helpers.
Now get out there and love being a mother!
These are small suggestions and of course there are many others that will help you on the way. The fact that you’re reading this shows how much you already love being a mother. That’s right. Even if you’re struggling, you’re up reading about how to get better at being a mother, and it takes a lot of love for a tired mom to get online and get tips on how to be better at her job as a mom.
Now that you know you already love being a mother, learn to express it more in your everyday life and rest assured that your baby is benefiting every step of the way.